Sleeping Around…
A MAN MISSED HIS WIFE WHO TRAVELED SO MUCH THAT HE FELT THEIR MATRIMONIAL BED WAS 2 BIG 4 JUST HIM AND HE DECIDED 2 SLEEP ON D SOFA, DINING CHAIR AND SOMETIMES IN D LIBRARY. WHEN D WIFE CAME BACK, SHE ASKED D MAID IF HER HUSBAND WAS SLEEPING FINE AND D MAID ANSWERED: ” MADAM, SINCE U LEFT, OGA HAS BEEN SLEEPING AROUND OOOOOO”. D MADAM FAINTED !
1hr sex
Wife to Husband on his birthday,”U can have sex for 1 hour the way u want it.”Husband jumps, kisses her & runs out saying…”I’ll be back in 1 Hour”…lmao
love making…
Did u know that ?1. The pleasure of making love in the dark is 10 times stronger than when d light is on..??2. Taking bath at same time with ur partner increases Ɣ☺ΰЯ love by 20times..??.Don’t get so excited…………… Its an ADVERT by: Ministry of Electricity and Water supply:SAVE WATER.SAVE ELECTRICITY=)) jara ee
On her wedding day,d pastor asked d usual question “anyone who feels dis couple shouldn’t b joined in holy matrimony should speak or 4eva remain silence”…a young man raise his hand,seeing him d bride fainted & after she was revived,d pastor asked d man “why did u raise ur hand?….d man replied…’I been just want tell una say we no dey hear 4 back’.. heHe -:) D
Sexy Sec…
John: Your secretary is very sexy…!Tom: Thanks! It’s a robot actually, named ” Monica “If you squeez her right breast, she takes dictation& if you squeez her left breast, she types letters!I’ll Lend it to you for a day & you can see her functions………Next day……!!!!John called Tom from hospital & shouted: You bastard!You didn’t tell me that the ”’ HOLE ”’ between Monica’s legs is a pencil sharpener.lwkmd
You can’t cheat death…
Death came to a guy and said; 2day is ur day n d guy said I am not ready and death said well ur next on my list.dat ok why don’t u take a sit n I ll get u somtin to eat b4 we go den.d guy gave death some food with sleeping pills,he finished eating fell asleep n the guy removed his name 4 top of d list to the bottom of the list so wen death woke up he said I will start from the bottom of d list cos u ve been nice to me.
Fast Food…
Two Tigers Resting Under a Tree,
Suddenly a RABBIT Passed very fast,
Tiger could not Make Out & Asked:
“What was That?”
, Second Tiger Smiled;
& Said:-
“FAST FOOD”
Father and Over-educated son…
Illiterate Father & Educated Son went on camping trip, they setup tent & fall asleep.
Hours later, Father wakes Son & asks: Look up, what do you see?
Son: The sky with millions of stars.
Father: Ok, what does that tell you?
Son: Astronomically, that there are millions of galaxies & planets.
Father slaps Son hard & says: No you Idi0t, someone has stolen our tent!
MORAL OF THE STORY: Education ruins Common Sense
Angelic house girl
A little boy said: Mummy do u know that our house girl is an angel?
Mum: why did u ask?
Boy said: Because i saw her unclothed with her hands on the wall shouting oh God!, am coming, am comin, am comin, if not for daddy that was holding her tight from the back, she would have flown to heaven
